she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
