Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
