Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
pray to the hookup gods
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