Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
