I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
