he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how drunk are you?
Several
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
