i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
