that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
