i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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