idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
