"it" just moved
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
