I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
