Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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