My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
