and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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