I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
