Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dear god my vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize