I puked a lego.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
