I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
