he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
