What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
