i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I intend to get homeless drunk
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
