glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
