weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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