So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
