haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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