Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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