so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
whose ass print is on the piano?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
