If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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