Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
