hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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