either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
not ubering you a puppy
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
