ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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