with your own penis?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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