What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
