i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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