I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
