thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
