he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
