He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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