Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
