She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
