you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
