Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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