I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
