Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
as a side note pls kill me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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