Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This girl is more easily done than said...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
