1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
