my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
