Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
